Denny Crane & Alan Shore

Denny Crane: I don't fear death - never have. But I do fear being hooked up to a machine ... would you want to live like that?
Alan Shore: No, Denny, if it came to that, I'd pull the plug.
Denny Crane: Pull the plug? That's no way to die. I want you to shoot me!

Denny Crane

I've often found that it's the chubby girls who offend most easily. I don't know why because I'm not a psychiatrist. For what it's worth I like chubby girls, I enjoy chubby sex. What I'm trying to say is if this is a lonely chubby's cry for help. I'm here for you Lori.

Denny Crane

May I express a thought, because I so rarely get one, and I should preface this by saying that I'm so far up the ass of big business I view the world as one giant colon.

Alan Shore

Last night I went to bed with a book, not nearly as much fun as a 29 year old, but the book contained a speech by Adlai Stevenson. The year was 1952, he said 'The tragedy of our day is the climate of fear in which we live and fear breeds repression. Too often sinister threats to the Bill of Rights, to freedom of the mind, are concealed under the cloak of anti-Communism.' Today, it's the cloak of anti-Terrorism. Stevenson also remarked that it's far easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. I know we are all afraid, but the Bill of Rights, we have to live up to that, we simply must.

Denny Crane:

"I'm going to tell you this one more time with all the humility I can summon up. I'm the greatest trial attorney that ever lived. You will not beat me."